OFF THE WALL
Welcome to my new “Off the Wall” page.
The purpose of this page is for there to be a place… on this very serious blog… for readers to share… anything they want… as long as it’s not inappropriate.
Has the Lord been teaching you something you feel you just GOTTA share?
Are you troubled or burdened about something and want to get some dialogue going with other wackos who can relate with a wacko like you?
Do you have a dumb story or joke… or even a good one?
Is there something you want to theologize about?
Heard a good, catty story?
Feel stuck and confused in
the Christian Matrix?
Wanna be artistic? Write a poem? 
It’s all up to YOU! The possibilities are bound only by your imagination.
Let’s face it, I wanna get lotsa people comin to this heavy, end-times web blog, and I want you to stay, take your shoes off, sit a spell, click on lotsa pages, and tell all your friends to come here. NO!!! INSIST that they come here.
Sooooooo, dive right in and give it a go. TRY IT… You’ll like it! Just promise you won’t spend all of your endtimedisciples, blog readin time on this page only.
Since I created this page, I’LL be the first to put up something. It’s a DUMB joke, but I happen to like it.
What would ELVIS be doing, if he were alive today?
He’d be scratchin’ and clawin’, tryin’ to get out of that COFFIN.
From one wacko to another – this is a good space.
It is always good to have a lighter side! I like the comic! Classic!!
Hi,
This is great. What is the purpose of this? For articles/jokes or what. Are we allowed to post write-ups etc.
Advise.
Bimbola
Forgot to tell you. I loved the bunny joke! My husband and I had a great laugh!!! (am still giggling, what)
Hmmmm–Why does this page not surprise me at all? Because I KNOW YOU!!!! You are so cuhraazzeee, it was bound to come out sooner or later.
I also know you are a very godly, good man, too. Love you a bunch!!
Bimbola and others,
Glad you like this. Do anything you want to do here. Write a poem. Tell about how God is dealing with you. Tell a story. This is YOUR page.
I think the Matrix is a great analogy to the gospel Has anyone else used it to explain the unreality of this present world and the reality of the spiritual to someone? Just curious. I haven’t watched it since I became a believer, but it made a great impact on my way of thinking about the world that really is.
There once was a woman who woke up
one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three
hairs on her head.
“Well,” she said, “I think I’ll
braid my hair today.”
So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in
the mirror and saw that she had
only two hairs on her head.
“H-m-m, ” she said, “I think I’ll
part my hair down the middle today.”
So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in
the mirror and noticed that she
had only one hair on her head.
“Well,” she said, “Today I’m going
to wear my hair in a pony tail.”
So she did and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked
in the mirror and noticed that there
wasn’t a single hair on her head.
“YEAH!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have
to fix my hair today!”
Attitude is everything.
Where did the year go? Suddenly it is November and nearly December……again – and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2008 is on its back!
A big “Thank You” to you, for the huge impact you had on my life this year. Especially for all the support and advise you gave…….without you, I’m sure that 2008 would have been extremely boring.
From my side I wish you all a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.
May 2009 mark the beginning of a Tidal Wave of Love, Happiness and Bright Futures.
And to those who need someone special, may you find that true love
To those who need money, may your finances overflow
To those who need caring, may you find a good heart
To those who need friends, may you meet lovely people
To those who need life, may you find GOD
Should you be driving during this time…..please take care!
Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!
In Advance
Regards…….?
Cris, I loved your poem!! When she found only half a hair, do you think she could she have said, “I think I’ll do a Mowhawk today?
Prodigal Knot: Nope
Cris: Wow, what an UNUSUAL woman. Can you introduce me? Seriously, though, was that a TRUE story?
Bimbola: Thanks for your kind, uplifting thoughts. I like having you around.
Jessie: She never found HALF a hair.
Yes, Geno I know THAAAAAT! I wus jus wunnerin if say, maybe, she had found one and nevver writ it down
Geno. That’s all I have to say…..
Jesse, Do girls wear those there, too? :0
Oh, yes!! Ha ha
Wow, Cris, great post, attitude is everything. I love that outlook!
I watched the Braveheart video you just put up. Next time supply kleenex up front! Music finished me before the 6th bar. I remember when I saw it, when they were going to draw and quarter Wallace, I had to leave my seat like lightning and went to howl outside! (made an excuse to my husband that I was going to the girls room – but he knew!) Girls are such sops!
Jesse, I’m with you. I need some kleenex. You know, watching those images reminds me of this…Longing, and Joy. The joy of knowing true, real love, and the longing to be with that One who truly gives it.
Revelation 22:17
And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
Hey All,
I saw this quote the other day and when I read it I had to laugh. It’s one of those sad but true statements.
“When the Greeks got the gospel, they turned it into a philosophy; when the Romans got it, they turned it into a government; when the Europeans got it, they turned it into a culture; and when the Americans got it, they turned it into a business.” ~Richard Halverson
Found this a few minutes ago.
The POLITICALLY-CORRECT RED RIDING HOOD
-by Bryan Hupperts.
There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood
who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and
rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only
someone took the time to study them.
Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes
referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this
term that she would have thought less of the person if a close
biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate
the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was
sorry if this was the impression conveyed.
One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically
grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother’s house. “But
mother, won’t this be stealing work from the unionized people who
have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages
between various people in the woods?” Red Riding Hood’s mother
assured her that she had called the union boss and received a
special compassionate mission exemption form.
“But mother, aren’t you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?”
Red Riding Hood’s mother pointed out that it was impossible for
womyn to oppress each other, since all womyn were equally
oppressed until all womyn were free.
“But mother, then shouldn’t you have my brother carry the basket,
since he’s an oppressor, and should learn what it’s like to be
oppressed?” And Red Riding Hood’s mother explained that her
brother was attending a special rally for animal rights, and besides,
this wasn’t stereotypical womyn’s work, but an empowering deed
that would help engender a feeling of community.
“But won’t I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she’s sick
and hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?” But
Red Riding Hood’s mother explained that her grandmother wasn’t
actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way,
although that was not to imply that any of these conditions were
inferior to what some people called “health”.
Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea of
delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.
Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and
dangerous place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an
irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal
society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource,
and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable
competitors. Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves
and deviants, but Red Riding Hood felt that in a truly classless
society all marginalized peoples would be able to “come out” of
the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.
On her way to Grandma’s house, Red Riding Hood passed a
woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in order to examine
some flowers. She was startled to find herself standing before a
Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. Red Riding Hood’s
teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she was
confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and chose
to dialogue with the Wolf.
She replied, “I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks
in a gesture of solidarity.”
The Wolf said, “You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to
walk through these woods alone.”
Red Riding Hood said, “I find your sexist remark offensive in the
extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as
an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to
develop an alternative and yet entirely valid world view. Now, if
you’ll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my way.”
Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded
towards her Grandmother’s house. But because his status outside
society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-
style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma’s house.
He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action
affirmative of his nature as a predator. Then, unhampered by rigid,
traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma’s
nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited developments.
Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, “Grandma, I have
brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in your role of
wise and nurturing matriarch.”
The Wolf said softly “Come closer, child, so that I might see you.”
Red Riding Hood said, “Grandma, what big eyes you have!”
“You forget that I am optically challenged.”
“And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have.”
“Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I
didn’t give in to such societal pressures, my child.”
“And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!”
The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a
reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of
bed, grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide
that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Red Riding Hood bravely
shouted. “You must request my permission before proceeding to
a new level of intimacy!” The Wolf was so startled by this
statement that he loosened his grasp on her.
At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage,
brandishing an ax.
“Hands off!” cried the woodchopper.
“And what do you think you’re doing?” cried Little Red Riding Hood.
“If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of
confidence in my own abilities, which would lead to poor self
esteem and lower achievement scores on college entrance exams.”
“Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species!
This is an FBI sting!” screamed the woodchopper, and when Little
Red Riding Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced
off her head.
“Thank goodness you got here in time,” said the Wolf. “The brat
and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner.”
“No, I think I’m the real victim, here,” said the woodchopper. “I’ve
been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those
protected flowers earlier. And now I’m going to have such a trauma.
Do you have any aspirin?”
“Sure,” said the Wolf.
“Thanks.”
“I feel your pain,” said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper
on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said
“Do you have any Maalox?”
(c) Bryan Hupperts – http://www.sheeptrax.com
Jessie,
Thanx for sharing that wonderful story. It’s so good to see how things work out for the best in a politically-correct world.
That WAS a true story; right?
Yup, your’e so intuitive Geno!
There were two childhood buddies who went through school and college and even joined the army together. War broke out and they were fighting in the same unit. One night they were ambushed.
Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness came a voice, “Harry, please come and help me.”
Harry immediately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Bill. He asked the captain if he could go.
The captain said, “No, I can’t let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to lose one more person. Besides, the way Bill sounds he is not going to make it.” Harry kept quiet.
Again the voice came, “Harry, please come and help me.” Harry sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier.
Again and again the voice came.
Harry couldn’t contain himself any longer and told the captain, “Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help.”
The captain reluctantly let him go. Harry crawled through the darkness and dragged Bill back into the trench. They found that Bill was dead.
Now the captain got angry and shouted at Harry, “Didn’t I tell you he was not going to make it? He is dead, you could have been killed and I could have lost a hand. That was a mistake.”
Harry replied, “Captain, I did the right thing. When I reached Bill he was still alive and his last words were ‘Harry, I knew you would come.”‘
Clusters of Hope
By John Piper
Peter Paul Rubens
The Meeting of Abraham and MelchizedekIt is amazing how much hope you can find when you look hard for it, and hope is a desperately needed power in our lives. It is the river of joy that flows back to us from the final triumph of God, and “the joy of the Lord is our strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). We simply cannot live without hope—let alone flourish in the cause of God.
So maybe we should go harder after hope than we do. I have in mind specifically the most exhilarating hope of all—namely, the hope that God’s saving purposes are now triumphing in the world and will one day hold sway over all creation.
How shall we go harder after this hope? First of all, we can’t do it alone. Without each other’s cheering exhortations we sink. God saves one from despair by giving another a vision of hope. He does not always come directly. God’s work of encouragement in you saves me. His work of encouragement in me saves you.
Second, we need to be intentional and disciplined. This is too important to leave to chance or coincidence. Emotional strength can be fed and nurtured just like physical strength can. If we make up our minds to become strong, we can do it. Most of us leave the resources of hope to happenstance and then wonder why we are so often disheartened.
I am proposing that we get as serious about strengthening hope in the triumph of God as we are about earning a living. It is amazing how we manage to get up and go to work. Only the most severe cases of depression keep us out of work and require hospitalization or home rest. So I suggest that we go as hard and as systematically after hope as we do after the money that feeds our less important need for food.
Here’s my idea: Find a few people who will pledge to meet for a few months together specifically to stoke the fire of hope in the triumph of God. Not less than three. It could be a dozen. Meet perhaps for breakfast or lunch somewhere for about an hour, maybe once every two weeks; but if you have time, every week.
Let’s call them Clusters of Hope! Remember, it will take some diligent pursuit. One of the reasons we do not find hope is because we do not seek it with the same discipline we use to get to work in the morning. But it is more important than getting to work!
BimbolaOladeji submits, the bible says, hope maketh not ashamed, Jesus is the anchor of our hope. May our hope in God which leads to faith see us through the challenges of lige IJN. Amen. With Christ’s love,
Bimbola,
Thanks for submitting your two posts, especially Clusters of Hope.
It’s interesting that you posted that now. I have been discussing recently, with a fellow-blogger, the possibility of putting up a forum on the web, with perhaps a number of blogs running through it.
We want to give people who see the issues facing believers a place to go online where they can communicate, encourage and help one another along the road of end-time discipleship. We see this as a big and growing need.
Of course, this will not be the face-to-face kind of fellowship we all long for, but perhaps it will help lead to that.
I hope, by God’s grace, we can get this going effectively and that many would become part of it.
BREAKFAST AT MACDONALD
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, ‘Smile.’ The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at e veryone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald’s one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.
I did not move an inch… An overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible ‘dirty body’ smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was ’smiling’. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance.
He said, ‘Good day’ as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, ‘Coffee is all Miss’ because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it – the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, ‘Thank you.’ I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, ‘I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.’
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, ‘That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.’
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in ‘my project’ and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, ‘Can I share this?’
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald’s, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn : Unconditional Acceptance : Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS – NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.
May the good Lord teach us to love and accept people the way they are:
What a joy to read this. His love for others in us, is an icredible thing to experience. Bless you for sharing this with us all.
Bimbola,
I agree with Jessie… beautiful story. Thank you.
I almost missed it in all my “busyness”
Addressing the student body at Virginia Tech after a shooting rampage that left 33 people dead and dozens more wounded, Philip Yancey said: “Peter once said to Jesus…’Lord, to whom can we go?’…You’ve heard, ‘Things will get better. You’ll get past this.’…Those who offer such comfort mean well, and it’s true what you feel now you won’t always feel. Yet…you’re a different person because of that day…When three of my friends died I came across these lines: ‘Grief melts away like snow in May, as if there were no such thing as cold.’ I clung to that hope, even as grief smothered me like an avalanche. It did melt away, but like snow it came back in fierce, unexpected ways, triggered by a sound, a smell, a fragment of memory.”
Yancey continued, “Pain is a sign of life and love. I’m wearing a neck brace because I broke my neck in an accident. Initially medical workers refused to give me medication because they needed my response. The doctor kept asking, ‘Does this hurt? Can you feel that?’ The answer he desperately wanted was, ‘Yes, it hurts, I can feel it,’ proof that my spinal cord hadn’t been severed. Pain offers proof of life, of connection. In deep wounds two kinds of tissue must heal: connective tissue, plus the outer protective tissue. If the outer protective tissue heals too quickly the inner connective tissue won’t heal properly, leading to complications later.”
Don’t attempt healing alone. Real healing takes time. It takes place where God’s presence, God’s peace, and God’s people are. Are you hurting today? Turn to God. His promise to you is “I will…heal your wounds” (Jer 30:17 NIV).
Check out the new video on “Off the Wall”, located at the bottom of the page, just before the comments begin.
If anyone has any good videos or links you want added to this page, just leave a comment here, or you can email me.
That was really funny. We’ve had some real ‘curazeee’ cats over the years. Thanks for sharing this
Here’s a video for any that feel they need a lift today, that they are facing any Red-Sea moments in their lives. I trust both the music and the visuals will bless you and lift you upwards. Oh, and yes, the Lord’s got it all under control (in case you did not know)
My son e-mailed me these ponderisms below, so I share them with you now.
Ponderisms
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. But it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every FOUR hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?